


Burnt By Frost

by voleuse



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-03
Updated: 2004-08-03
Packaged: 2017-10-06 00:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voleuse/pseuds/voleuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Everything is seen much too clearly</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burnt By Frost

**Author's Note:**

> Pre-series, spoilers through _Order of the Phoenix_. Title, summary, and headings adapted from _Tantalus in May,_ by Reginald Shepherd.

_i. the season's blinding flowers_

One of Neville's earliest memories of his mother is her voice, singing a song that he can't remember anymore, and her arms gathering him close as he cried, woken from a nightmare.

Neville has nightmares every time he falls asleep.

He wishes he could remember that song.

_ii. it's still winter_

When Neville was quite small, he used to ask his grandmother where his parents had gone.

It was a few years before she would answer him, other than the vague explanation that they had gone away, and they missed him very much.

When he finally knows the truth, Neville understands that Gran lied to him, partly.

They don't miss him at all.

_iii. some nameless tree_

Neville remembers Algie scooping him up, chuckling despite Enid's protests, and carrying him to the window.

He remembers being scared, despite Algie's reassurance, and he remembers falling very, very quickly to the ground.

He doesn't remember the moment that he decided he _wouldn't_ smash into the ground, but there must have been a moment like that, because the next thing he remembers is the sudden exhiliration of flying, in short leaps, down the road.

Of course, he didn't let Algie come near him for quite a while afterward, but he couldn't bring himself to hold it against him.

_iv. I can't taste_

One day Neville runs, almost quite literally, into Professor Sprout. Hermione promised to meet him in the library to help him with Charms, and he's rushing to get there early so that he can review his notes before she gets there.

As he rounds the corner, he catches a glance of Professor Sprout's alarmed expression, giving him time enough to check himself and merely glance against her and crash into the wall instead, sacrificing himself rather than deal with the ignominy of ending up in a tangle of limbs with the head of Hufflepuff.

As he blinks, dazed and slumped against the wall, Professor Sprout offers him a hand up. Neville takes it, abashed, and she hauls him from the floor quite easily.

"Sorry, Professor," he starts to explain in a rush, "I was going to the library to meet Hermione, and I..." He shrugs. "Sorry."

"That's all right, Neville," she says. She starts to walk off, then stops. Turns back. "Excellent work in class today." And then she's gone.

It takes him a few minutes to recover, but he makes it to the library before Hermione, and he smiles all the way through their session.

_v. utterance itself is adoration_

Neville visits his parents at least thrice a year, four times if he can convince Gran.

Before each encounter, she makes sure that his clothing is properly pressed, that his hair is combed, and that he's not going to fall into pieces at the sight of what Frank and Alice have become.

Neville's not sure if Gran does that last bit for his sake, or her own, but she always squeezes his hand firmly before they take the final step into the hospital ward. Her palm is always dry, her hand always steady, but he takes comfort in that touch, just the same.

Neville wonders if Gran cries in the middle of the night. Most of the time, he convinces himself that she doesn't, because there's no one in the world stronger than Gran.

When his vague nightmares wake him, however, while all the others sleep, Neville thinks, just a little bit, that she does.

_vi. I hate every lovely thing about them_

Amidst the chaotic order of Hogwarts, and Gryffindor house in general, sometimes Neville manages to be happy.

That is, sometimes he forgets he doesn't have parents like his classmates, parents who send him owls, and give him ridiculous and extravagant presents on holidays, and worry about whether he'll do well in his classes.

Sometimes he forgets that they're still in St. Mungo's, that Gran gives him expensive and practical gifts on holidays, and that he has a pile of candy wrappers hidden in a box under his bed. Sometimes he forgets.

Only sometimes.


End file.
